When Executive Functioning Goes Off the Rails (Even for the Coach)
Spoiler alert: It involved an email, a facepalm, and a whole lot of humble pie.
Let me tell you a little story about executive functioning—mine.
I’m an executive functioning coach. I help students (and families) get organized, stay on track, and manage their time without tears. I create color-coded calendars. I celebrate well-labeled folders. I believe in checklists like some people believe in horoscopes.
And yet …I completely missed an important email. Like, completely.
I had recently changed my business email and thought my old account was set to forward everything to my new inbox. Did I double-check that? No. Did I test it by sending myself a message? Of course not. Because in my head, I’d already crossed it off the list. ✔️
Well, it wasn’t forwarding.
Cue the horror movie music.
When I finally discovered the email weeks later—one that I really needed to respond to—I felt this wave of embarrassment and self-judgment wash over me. I wanted to crawl into a drawer labeled “Professional Disappointments” and stay there until it was 2026. I wrote a sheepish apology, hit send, and stared at the wall for a while.
Here’s the thing: executive functioning missteps happen to everyone. Even the people who teach it.
Executive functioning isn’t about being perfect—it’s about having systems that usually work, and then knowing how to bounce back when they (inevitably) don’t.
So when your child forgets to turn in an assignment…
Or starts a project and loses steam halfway through…
Or swears they studied for the test but somehow “forgot everything” the next day…
It’s not because they’re lazy. Or careless. Or doomed. It’s because executive functioning is a skill set, not a personality trait. And even grown-ups with color-coded planners and a professionally ironic mug that says “CEO of Deadlines” sometimes mess up.
So how can we support kids when they hit a roadblock?
🧠 Normalize it.
Tell them about a time you forgot something important. (Or use my email debacle—I'm happy to lend it out.)
🧭 Shift from shame to strategy.
Instead of focusing on what went wrong, ask: “What might help next time?” This turns a mistake into a plan.
🤝 Stay calm and curious.
When kids freeze or shut down, it’s usually not about defiance. It’s about overwhelm. They need empathy before solutions.
🔁 Practice bouncing back.
Executive functioning is like a muscle—it strengthens with use and recovery, not with punishment.
The goal isn’t perfect execution. The goal is resilience.
So here I am: an executive functioning coach who missed an email, felt like a fraud for a morning, and then did what I ask my students to do—I regrouped, made a new system (you better believe I triple-checked my forwarding settings), and got back to work.
Because progress doesn’t always look like a straight line. Sometimes it looks like an embarrassed email and a new plan.
And that’s okay.
Want to help your kids build their own bounce-back skills this summer? Check out my free executive functioning resource here.
Or shoot me an email—yes, it forwards now. I promise — info@katiespeetzen.com
